9 days until these feet hit American soil. 

I was thinking about this past year and all the crazy stuff that's happened... all the hard times with community, still raising money, getting through all my personal crap and now here I am. 

I have been to so many places and met so many people. They all have desperate needs. They're hurting. Some of their stories are just unimaginable.
Sometimes I was able to meet people that reminded me of people back home... on the outside things they looked nice and pretty, but inside they were hard and confused.
ALL over the world there are people that are broken and searching for more.

They all need Jesus.

And God allowed ME to meet them... to love and pray and worship with them. 

I don't know if I will ever get to go back to any of the places I've been this year... But I know that the prayers I've prayed are powerful and have left an impact.
And the stories I have now are going to bring even more awareness to America. To stir hearts.

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When I came on the World Race, I knew that I would go out into a world and be a servant of Christ. But I also knew that God was going to do things inside of me... and I was SO hungry for it.
I had so much crap I was carrying around with me all of the time.
So many lies that had wrapped themselves around me, that they became my truth.
I lived as a child who didn't really know how to receive God's love, because I'd never really had an earthly father's love.

As I traveled around and saw the broken people around me, I realized that in a lot of ways I was no different from them. And when I spoke God's truth over them, it allowed me to find even more freedom.

It wasn't only the people around the world that helped me... it was the people traveling side by side with me. My U- Squad family... we ALL had our junk. And this year we learned how to really LOVE one another... and DANG, we love WELL. 

Somehow God placed us all here together for THIS season. It still blows my mind at how well we function together. Only by His grace. :)

These people have challenged me and pushed me to be better. To go DEEPER with my Abba.
They've helped break off the years of hurt and lies. They have called out the God inside of me... and now I KNOW that His Spirit lives within me. 

When we were in Mozambique we were able to meet a guy who had just come from Heidi Baker's School. So he was SUPER spirit filled and led... 

I remember when he came out to worship with us I thought he was really weird because of the way he was acting. Like "oh great... he's one of those crazy guys. Maybe we can pray for him..."
haha

BUT it turns out this guy is insanely in tune with the Spirit and HE wanted to pray over US. 

God gave him some awesome words about where we were in the Race (month 8), and about when we go home.

He was telling us that we were like Noah. When he was in the Ark waiting for the water to recede, he kept sending out a dove. One day the dove came back with an olive branch showing that new life was starting to appear, and then he sent it out again and the dove didn't return.
(I thought that was SO cool because I had gotten a tattoo on my wrist of a dove with an olive branch in its mouth)

He spoke over us that when we returned home we were going to land and release new life wherever we go. The newness and change doesn't stop with us...

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43: 18 & 19

I didn't really think about it much after he said that, but now that we're about to go home it's been on my mind a lot more. 

I've also started to see things happening with my family and friends. It makes me SO excited to see God moving in their lives in a NEW way. 

There is still SO much for me and my walk with God... I know that this year isn't the end of something. This year will NOT be the best year of my life... it's the start of something new and beautiful and AMAZING. 

 

Some people ended up going to beat out the fire with tree branches or buckets of water around different parts of El Shaddai- did I mention that most of us were still in our "Sunday best"? It was pretty funny. :)

(our cabin)

 

 

Even though that was one of the scariest moments on the Race, or even in my life, it's also one of my favorite memories now.
Being in a situation like that can really test you. And even though there was a moment of panic, I really did feel the Lord's peace and I just knew that everything would be fine. Even if all of our stuff had been burned up, we were all safe, and that was amazing!

Abba, thank You for protecting us and for reminding us of just how magnificent You are.

This month my team is at an Iris Ministries base in Dondo, Mozambique. If you don't know what Iris is you should definitely check it out.
We have a lot of different opportunities this month to reach out to the community- hospital visits, prison ministry, church/evangelizing in the local villages, a widows feeding program and pretty much whatever else we feel the Spirit leading us to.

So I'm going to do something I usually don't, and that is to give you a glimpse into my head and heart.
Last month was a really hard month for me because I was really, really homesick. I have 3 little sisters and one of them got married last month. When I left in January they weren't engaged yet, but were planning on doing it sometime next year. Of course, plans ALWAYS change.
So I was missing my little sisters wedding, and just missing my family in general. There were a lot of times I wasn't really enjoying the ministry, because I was SO busy focusing on ME.

It wasn't until a few days ago when it really hit me... that I am still SO selfish.
I'm on this AMAZING journey for 11 months. Going out and meeting people and telling them about God's love, and all the while I'm struggling to accept His love for myself.

God can still use me, all these months He has been. He brought me here for a reason.
 But, He is still waiting for me to truly die to myself.
To stop letting the fear hold me back from trusting Him. To know that He can take care of me 100%, and take me farther than I could ever take myself.

I don't understand Him or His ways, but I do know that He always has the BEST in store for His children. His Beloved. And He has put heavenly gifts inside of me that I am ready to embrace.

So I'm choosing RIGHT NOW, to stop focusing so inwardly.
To put a death to the vicious cycle of comparison.
To put to death the fear of man.

To DECLARE the TRUTH of who I am in Christ...

-I will die to myself and carry my cross DAILY
-I am a woman who KNOWS God's Love and lives in it
-My hope is found in Christ
-I am full of Grace
-My God is bigger than my circumstances
-He richly supplies all my financial needs
-My identity is found in Christ alone
-I will put others above myself
-I am FULL of JOY
-God is my Strength
-My heart is focused on things above and not things of this world
- I will be a Proverbs 31 woman
-my beauty shines from within!

THIS is who I am and strive to be more and more every day.

Sorry for the lack of blogging! We're going to be in Africa for 2 more months and the chances of good internet are slim. :)

Last month my team and 3 other teams from my squad were all in Coffee Bay, South Africa together. We also had 8 Real Life participants with us for the month to get a glimpse of World Race culture to see if they want to do it one day.
It turns out that we were RIGHT on the beach at one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen.

Since we were staying at a hostel we had the chance to minister to backpackers from all over the world. We were able to meet some of the most amazing people. Kind and generous people... some of them are so lost, searching for something that makes sense, filling their time with getting drunk and high every night. There were a lot of people that were open to talking to us and listening to our stories.
Just meeting someone where they are and loving on them is so amazing. It's what Jesus did, so I know that even though we may have not seen a lot of change in those people, God still used us for that moment. The fact that we didn't turn our noses up at them, and actually listened to them, I think that speaks so much louder than words.

"To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings." 1 Cor. 9:22 & 23